The Wrath of the Blue Waddle Dee
by NaturallyDark
Summary: Dedede buys a worthless demon beast, Fumu nags, and Meta Knight makes a one-second cameo to announce Kirby's Copy Ability. Admit it, that's the skeleton of Hoshi no Kaabii. A crackfic.


**I loved Hoshi no Kaabii – all one hundred episodes of it. But you've gotta admit, almost all of the episodes follow the same formula.**

**The fact that it continues to rock despite this formula is what makes the show awesome.**

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><p>The sun was beaming brightly over Pupu Village and all the villagers were doing what they usually did. Chief Borun was incompetently trying to arrest the same thief for the third time that day, chef Kawasaki was serving terrible food, Moso was wandering about aimlessly in his quest to deliver everyone's junk mail, and King Dedede was wasting his money on yet another demon beast.<p>

"Well, King Dedede, here to not pay us back on your orders, I assume?" Customer Service asked with a smirk.

"It's _Dedede_!" the king yelled, leaning forwards in his throne. Customer Service scratched his head in confusion.

"What did I say?"

"You pronounced it Dee-dee-dee!" Dedede snapped. "My name is pronounced Deh-deh-deh!"

"But this is a Canadian fanfiction," Customer Service protested, "so I'm just using the English pronunciation – "

King Dedede slammed his fist against an armrest. "Screw English! Almost every other language pronounces 'd' as 'deh,' but English has to go and be a rebel! Well, I won't have it! I crush rebellion!" He folded his arms crossly.

"Sire," Escargon said, "are you aware that you are a total and utter idiot?"

"Shut up!" Dedede said, whacking him on the head with a mallet that appeared out of thin air. "Customer Service, send the strongest demon beast you've got!"

"Very well, King 'Deh-deh-deh,'" Customer Service said mockingly. "How about I send you the weakest one we have while telling you it's the strongest in our stock?"

"Brilliant! Make sure it's super expensive so I can refuse to pay you!"

"I love highway robbery!" Customer Service announced before sending the demon beast. The great machine crackled with CGI lightning flashes until a blue Waddle Dee popped out.

"What's the big idea?" Escargon demanded. "This is just a plain old Waddle Dee!"

"Yes," Customer Service said, "but it's blue."

"Sire, this is ridiculous – " Escargon began, but Dedede cut him off.

"It's perfect! This will stop Kirby for sure!" The king picked up the confused Waddle Dee and ran out of the room with it tucked under his arm like a football.

Meanwhile, Kirby was sleeping peacefully in Tokkori's nest, dreaming of watermelons and Meta Knight's secret stash of candy, when he was suddenly awoken by the foulest noise known to Cappykind.

"Hey! Kirby! Wake up!"

The terrible screech was followed by a sharp jab into his side and Kirby fell out of the tree in shock. Tokkori flapped his wings briskly in front of his face and yelled, "I just woke you up for no conceivable reason to remind the audience that I'm a jerk and don't deserve to be alive!"

"Poyo!" Kirby agreed enthusiastically.

"Heya, Kirby!" called out Bun as he and his friends ran up the hill. "Let's go play soccer and accidentally kick you around in the process!"

"Bun, you're so irresponsible!" That was Fumu, who just stepped out from behind the tree, where she had been standing, presumably, all night. "He could get badly hurt, just because you guys are out for a cheap laugh!"

"What's the worst that can happen?" Bun looked at his friends – or rather, turned his head towards them, since it isn't confirmed that the guy even has eyes – and they shrugged. "The worst thing I've ever seen happen is that his eyes mysteriously turn into x's, but they always turn back."

Just then, an oversized golden car drove over and came to a halt beside the kids. King Dedede and Escargon, who were driving it, turned and leered at them.

"We've come to eliminate Kirby!" Dedede announced. He threw the blue Waddle Dee out of the car and yelled, "Go get 'im, demon beast!"

"Is that a demon beast?!" Fumu exclaimed.

"Yes, I think it is a demon beast!" said Bun. The kids shivered in terror while Kirby stared at it obliviously. He wandered over and poked it. Kirby was thrown back half a dozen metres from the impact with the Waddle Dee and landed on his face painfully.

"Oh, no!" Fumu cried out. "It's too strong for Kirby!" The Waddle Dee continued to look confused.

Kirby got up and shook himself off, then ran over and attempted to inhale the Waddle Dee. Instead, he sucked up a small rock. He jumped up into the air and spun rapidly, then went through an elaborate transformation sequence while everyone else stood around awkwardly, waiting for it to end.

"That's Stone Kirby," Meta Knight told them, before promptly vanishing.

"Why does he always appear out of nowhere just to announce what Kirby's copy ability is before disappearing for the remainder of the episode?" Bun wondered.

"Because he thinks we're imbeciles and because he's trying to be enigmatic and interesting," Fumu explained.

Bun rolled his eyes. "Stop saying sciencey words and speak English."

"English?!" King Dedede looked appalled. "He's a rebel! Arrest him!"

While the other characters did things that were not relevant to the plot, Kirby leapt up in the air and turned himself into the cutest CGI rock ever. He landed right on the blue Waddle Dee, causing it to explode, like all good demon beasts should.

"He did it!" yelled both Fumu and Bun, jumping up in slow motion in an anime pose. King Dedede yelled some obscenities at the kids before he and Escargon drove off to the castle.

"What a useless demon beast!" Dedede exclaimed. "I just totally wasted my money!"

"I told you this was a scam!" Escargon tried to say, but he was once again interrupted by the king.

"I'm docking your pay for this!"

"What?! But you didn't even pay Customer Service for it!"

Fumu turned towards the camera and put on her best 'nagging mother' tone. "So, kids, the moral of the story that I'm going to hastily throw in at the end is that blue Waddle Dees are just as stupid as regular Waddle Dees, so just turn into a rock and crush them if you ever see them."

And Kine was forever alone.

The end.


End file.
